soulMerlin's Reflections

Depression...(the clouds lift)

 

 

I have been rather depressed since I finished the story of Hakon and Brigid, for Flowers and Scorpions. I had become so involved with the characters, that when I finished, it was like leaving people who I knew so very well...and then the clouds of depression gathered. Hakon and Brigid had become so very real to me - like thought forms or Tulpas - so to finish the story, was like saying goodbye to people I knew and loved. But then I have always been the same - rather disfunctional - except when I am creating something.

Around 13 - 15 yrs ago, I didn't know how to handle my 'dark-times' and on three occasions, I had to leave my work and go home for a week or so, until I could feel the ground below my feet once more.

Christina used to say to me "give yourself a shake and let the hens have a feed" - but it was so hard that it was impossible...until I found the "key".

The "key" for me (and perhaps it might suit you, if you tend toward immobilising periods of numbness) is not to fight it, but... 

...indulge in it.

I play sad music, look at sad paintings and let my feelings of uselessness run riot, until I get fed up with the whole ghastly state of being - rather like eating too much ice-cream - after a while I just want a hot cup of tea and a laugh.

The other thing is to look up

The sky in Bournemouth last week was wonderful.

Depression is downward - Aspiration is upward.

If I really feel bad (as I just have been for the last few days) I look upward.

 

Also, I've made a simple card, which helps me and may help you if you walk a solitary path.

(and we all do,  in a way)

God Bless

henry

photos and artwork (c)soulmerlin

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Reincarnation

I'm really not too hot on the idea that I may be re-incarnated, even though I have memories I can't really place and enough experience of working with people in past life regression, to know that there is something there.

Patrick, a really excellent medium I know, has great problems with the concept of returning in multiple lives, as (surprise surprise) myself.

On the other hand, I can see the eternal part of myself in my grandson Christoper. Liz and I took him to Knaresborough the other weekend and had a lovely time, even though I was knackered with all the driving up from Bournemouth to Yorkshire on my day off (Sunday) It really was worth it. Yes I did have wavy blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

Neverthless, the last lines of a poem by E.E. Cummings make me think

 

 

 

 

                                                     And in a mystery to be

                                          When time from time shall set us free

                                                Forgetting me, Remember me

 

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Happiness

I was sitting behind the theatre in Bournemouth a couple of weeks ago,  when this little thing approached with great care and attention. I could feel the quiver - there is something amazing about being very close to wildness.

I had my camera on my lap - it's not a telephoto shot - and I gently turned it toward the creature, who didn't mind the shutter click.

I have a book of poems my mother wrote and copied - This was one of her favourites~

Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued,
is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly,
may alight upon you.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

(I know it's not a butterfly, but 'squirrel' doesn't rhyme)

 

It could work though..

..Happiness is like a squirrel.....

photo by (c)soulMerlin

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