Christina's death came as an almighty shock, a total body-blow that stunned me, both mentally and physically. I had previously considered myself an Agnostic, which I considered as a 'get-out' clause in my 'Atheist's Contract', that allowed for the 'Unexplainable'. In other words, 'an Afterlife Insurance'. The wake of her passing affected my spiritual development in many profound ways.
Although I had many spiritual experiences around that time, the particular event below has given me the most tangible proof' of an afterlife I have ever received. As the factor of 'Belief' is not brought into the equation, my tangible proof' seems to withstand the interrogation of doubt and 'reasonable' thought.
It helps to anchor my belief.
The morning after Christina died, I forced myself to get dressed and go to the town centre. My new grief had started to attack like the cutting of a knife. One moment I would be literally doubled up with sorrow and the next, I would find I could function for a short while. During one numb period that at least gave me some respite, I drifted into a bookstore.
I was floating just above and slightly to the right of myself - I watched as I went along the shelves as I looked for something that might stop or lessen the pain. I opened a book by a prominent spiritual medium and found myself reading about spirits and how they sometimes make contact through electronic equipment such as radios, TV’s and telephones. This was the sort of re-assurance and proof I so desperately needed.
Later that evening my friend Debbie dropped by to check up on me. I remember Debbie remarking how tense and strange she felt, which I thought was understandable, as she had gone through the ordeal of my mother being taken ill, while I was rehearsing a show in Bristol and had stayed with her in the ambulance and at the hospital, until she passed away nearly three hours later. I arrived about ten minutes after she died and although I regretted it at the time, I now take solace in the knowledge that people often ‘pass on’ when their loved ones are out of the way in order to spare them the ordeal.
We were standing in the kitchen talking about Christina when the house phone rang. Debbie went to answer it; “They’ve rung off” she called from the living room. There was silence, but a few moments later Debbie spoke again: “It was your mother” Debbie had dialled 1471 to identify the caller and the number recorded was my mother’s mobile telephone.
Faced with the reality of Christina’s death, my 'fair-weather' belief had already begun to cloud. Although I had the constant feeling that she (and many other spirits or forces) were around me, when the chips were down, I did not really consider a belief in the afterlife as anything more than a cushion to soften the harsh reality of unavoidable oblivion. This was a glimmer of hope - If the telephone call was a genuine contact from my mother, the none-existence of an after-life would become the least likely possibility.
I remembered that I had put Christina’s phone in the inside pocket of my jacket which was hanging over the back of a chair in the dining room. I carefully removed the phone, looked at ‘calls made’ and sure enough, a call was listed as having been made from the mobile to the house phone, some two minutes earlier.
Debbie and I were stunned; we repeatedly checked the mobile and the house phone to try and find a logical reason. Debbie wondered why the call had been made to the house phone and not to my mobile? To me it seemed ‘right’ that my mother would have tried to contact us both, as Debbie had taken care of Christina over the previous two and a half months and had been her last contact before she died. The more I considered it, the more I became convinced that my mother was still around and in some way, still ‘herself’.
Maybe it was simply a telephone malfunction - but if so, who or what caused the malfunction? It is part of my nature to look for a logical material reason, no matter how extreme and convoluted the co-incidental sequence becomes, rather than simply accept the most likely explanation.
¹ ‘Talking to Heaven’ by James Van Praagh, published by Piatkus – www.piatkus.co.uk. JVP asserts that spirits have an affinity with electronic media – Telephones and Answering Machines. “After someone dies, it is possible to receive a phone call and no one is on the other end of the line. Or you may actually hear the voice of the spirit. In some cases the voice has been recorded on answering machines” ~ James Van Praagh.